My Philosophy For Building Strong Habits

How many times have you tried to do something, start a new hobby, go to the gym or start writing a book? And how many times have you started and then simply stopped?

I’ve done this a billion times, kicking myself, telling myself I just wasn’t cut out for ‘that thing‘.

Boy, it’s debilitating. I always start off with the best intentions telling myself it’ll be different this time but no matter how long I stick at something I always find I dip out at some point. At least that used to be what I was like, trapped in that endless cycle of feeling like I was letting myself down.

But now I know how to keep up my healthy habits. I’m by no means perfect. I’m just a regular guy, trying to do the best I can. And that’s all people try to do in most cases. I’m no expert at all. I just want to live in the best way that I can, using the information I learn and trying to implement the things that matter to me and share them as I go.

My goals are pretty typical – to stay in good shape, keep learning, be strong mentally and physically and be someone that people wouldn’t mind being around.

Simple enough right? But underneath each of those points lays multiple activities that require constant repetition and time. For example, being strong physically requires constant exercise and also a variety of exercises. Being in shape means learning to cook and what to eat let alone keeping that up which of course isn’t always easy.

So where do you start?

In my experience, with a philosophy.

Before I had a philosophy that underpins building strong habits, I was floating around – doing that thing where I would try things for a while before falling off.

My philosophy for building strong habits now acts like a guiding light that allows me to stay focused on what I need to do. It reminds me of why I continue to keep doing the things that matter to me.

I used to shrug off the idea of philosophy and likewise religion, but now I understand the power of such things and why people embrace them. They act as templates, structured ways to live your life. They help to remind you of your “why”.

My philosophy is unique to me. Yours might be different. But whatever the case, you can use the below for inspiration if you too find yourself bouncing around, unable to stick to your new healthy routines.

Becoming my own parent

Fortunately, I had responsible parents growing up who looked out for my best interests. But there’s only so much your parents can do before you’re released into the big wide world and need to find for yourself.

Some of the good habits you had to do under your parent’s roof can fall to the side. I never liked eating my vegetables but plenty of times I was made to eat them first before anything else on my plate. It used to make me angry. Why did I have to eat my vegetables? It seemed unimportant as a kid because I didn’t understand the context as much as my parents explained that if I didn’t eat them I wouldn’t grow up “big and strong”.

Although for a long time, I would spit them back out, I would eventually begin to eat them without even being told. I went from hating them to eating them without even thinking about it and at some point even enjoying them!

So why did that happen? In my view, repetition. Of course, this doesn’t mean I think you should keep forcing yourself to do something if you hate it. However, when it comes to something simple like repeatedly trying vegetables, I think it’s worth it.

And so it wasn’t until many years later that it suddenly dawned on me that I would have to be my own parent. I would have to do things that felt uncomfortable at first (and then keep doing them) because they were the right things to do.

Whenever I’m feeling that urge to blow something off I ask myself; What would I tell myself if I were my parent?

I think I’d probably tell myself to cook that dinner from scratch, not order in food. Or I’d tell myself to get off the couch and do that workout because I know I’ll feel better after I do these things.

Deep down I know what I need to do and that voice is myself, my own parent.

I think I am, therefore I am

If you want to change, you not only have to believe that you can change but you also have to believe you are already the kind of person who does the things you want to do.

But what exactly do I mean by that?

A few hundred years ago the French philosopher René Descartes wrote; I think there I am. It essentially means that by thinking, you recognize your own existence. You acknowledge that there is a “self”.

But I think you can take that idea one step further which is what I have done with my own philosophy for building strong habits. If I think of myself as already the person who wakes up and does 50 push-ups, I already am that person, not someone who is striving to become that person.

This is because the ability to do it is already within me, I simply just have to do it. I can choose not to do it or I can just do it. It is a black-and-white choice.

Whatever I want to do or achieve, I can first think it which is the first step before actually doing it. If I wake up and do those 50 push-ups day after day, any doubts about not being that person fade away more and more and before long, I truly am that person.

It is a change of perception that I use which has had big results.

So, already believe you are the kind of person who has the habits you want and just meet yourself halfway.

Do it now or probably never

If you don’t start now, when will you? This is one of the biggest questions that has helped me to build stronger habits. When you’re young it’s easy to put things off and tell yourself you’ll do them later. After all, it seems like you have all the time in the world. However, as we all know, you really don’t have much time at all. Before you know it you’ve got yourself a job, a family, bills and other responsibilities that need your attention and your energy.

When I don’t feel like doing something I know I should, I ask myself; when do you actually plan on doing it then? As if I’m that annoying yet responsible parent over my own shoulder.

Usually, my answer is “Ugh, ummm…”

There are many times I don’t feel like writing or packing a healthy lunch. It’s far easier to play a game once I’ve got in after a long day or have an extra glass of wine with dinner than getting changed and working out.

But if I don’t do what I need to do to reach my goals now, when will I? Will it be tomorrow? Will it be in a few weeks once I’ve got out of what I perceive to be a rut? Probably not, I’ll probably think of the same excuses as I have today.

It’s that age-old joke; diet starts Monday! But that kind of thinking can be applied to anything you’re putting off.

“I’ll write that essay on Sunday” or “I’ll do the dishes in the morning,”

That procrastination seems to be in all of us. It’s much easier to seek comfort. But does that get you anywhere? especially when you seek it too much.

That’s why I’m a big fan of the Nike slogan; “Just Do It“. Not because I’m a huge fan of the brand but because I love the simplicity of the message. Sometimes you need a reminder to just do it.

We’re very good at overcomplicating things, adding layers of excuses until we’ve convinced ourselves we don’t have enough time or we’re not ready yet.

What if we just start? I think that’s half the battle. Just start.

Gratitude for the capability

Whilst I am capable I know I should be grateful that I can “just do it.” No doubt there will be a time in my life when it will be difficult for me to do certain exercises and my capacity to learn and understand things might not always be the same.

What would your capacity to build strong habits look like if you became incredibly and unwaveringly grateful? After all, they often say; you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone.

It may sound silly, but part of my philosophy that helps me maintain my routines is the thought that one day I might not be able to do X, Y and Z. How lucky am I that I get to have two legs that aren’t painful? Perhaps I should use them to play sports because there are plenty of people who aren’t as fortunate as me. And how lucky am I that I can afford to buy and cook foods that allow me to create healthy meals that allow me to feel good? Again, there are plenty of people who cannot do this.

I have two working arms, two working hands, two working eyes and ears, healthy legs and a beating heart. It makes sense to me to use them whilst I have them. And it makes sense to remind myself how lucky I am to have these things, even if it may seem a little silly to think about how great it is to have two hands that allow me to do so many different things.

I meditate on these things and it makes me feel grateful. I don’t want to waste away and reach a point where I wish I had gone out to play sports when I had the chance but didn’t or had the chance to eat properly but couldn’t be bothered and then end up too overweight and tired that it will feel like it’ll be too much of a challenge to change.

I try and keep up the habits that mean something to me and remind myself how lucky I am that I can do them right now.

Ignoring the noise

My philosophy for building strong habits also revolves around the idea that much of what you see and hear is just noise, some good, some bad. But most of what you come into contact with on a daily basis does not need to distract you from your goals.

This is an idea plucked from the Stoic Roman emperor Marcus Aurelius.

“Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.”

Marcus Aurelius

Marcus was an emperor who suffered many hardships throughout his life and has since been a popular figure. He wrote many of the things he learned and believed in his personal diary which was never meant to be read. However, there are many ageless thoughts and lessons in that diary that can help to give you a structured template for your own life. One of these is the quote above.

There’s never been more distractions in the world, things to watch, taste, order, download and become addicted to. Every news article is sensationalised to grab your attention, telling you there is danger all over the world, everywhere you look.

It’s no wonder your focus might be easily fragmented. And all of this noise stops you from focusing on your own goals.

In reality, most of what you hear is just an opinion, an opinion from someone with their own beliefs and their own life experiences. Everyone is perceiving the same things slightly differently. Only you know what is best for you and you can have more control over things than you realise if you ignore the meaningless noise that tries to turn your head.

Embracing this philosophy, in my opinion, is one of the most powerful ways you can continue to build strong habits. It stops you from spending hours scrolling, having one too many drinks or watching another newsreel. When you realise how much of what you see and hear is just noise, you realise how much time you actually have to build a new routine.

This is my philosophy for building strong habits

So this is my philosophy that helps me stick to my habits and build out daily and weekly routines that help me towards my goals.

What is the philosophy that holds up your own healthy habits?