Examples Of Core Beliefs And How To Change Yours

 

Core beliefs are the assumptions we make about ourselves, others, or situations we come into contact with. What do you strongly believe in? that you’re not good enough? that you’re better than others? is it religion? Core Beliefs are the very things that we strongly believe within ourselves. They are based on our values and determine how we take in information and generally see the world around us.

Core beliefs are also the things that cause us to argue as human beings because we all have varying beliefs on different subjects. When it comes to mental health, it’s easy for us to get sucked into certain beliefs and thought patterns that end up stopping us from seeing other perspectives.

For me personally, I had to make a shift in my deep set of core beliefs before I could truly start to get better. For example, I used to believe…

• I’ll never get better, I’ve been anxious for too long
• I’ll never stop worrying
• I’m not a confident person
• I can’t perform like other people can
• I’ll be anxious for the rest of my life

These are the core beliefs that I had about myself for most of my life. You might be able to relate to the fact that at the time, I really believed in them because that’s all I knew life to be like. I never knew about alternative ways of thinking and couldn’t imagine approaching situations differently. These beliefs we so ingrained in me that I could only see things from one perspective.

Your core beliefs, whether right or wrong, often are not your fault. When you behave or you see the same things over and over again throughout your life, you start to believe that they are right and other beliefs are wrong. You might also inherit your core beliefs from your parents or other family members because that’s the only reality you know.

Here are the main reasons why you might have your current core beliefs;

• Your location
• Your religion
• Your family’s beliefs
• Your friend’s beliefs
• Your culture
• Life experiences

Core beliefs can hold us back because they stop us from seeing other ways of interpreting the world. However, our core beliefs can also be the things that keep us on the straight and narrow. So, it really comes down to your own experiences in life. If your life is not going the way you’d like, then it might be time to challenge your core beliefs. Because we spend most of our lives following our core beliefs and values, it can be scary to open up to different ways of thinking and other experiences.

The bottom line is, if you change your core beliefs, you can change your whole life. When I changed my core beliefs about myself and my anxiety, I started to change how I felt and every aspect of my life changed forever. It only takes changing one of your core beliefs for you to realise that there are other ways of doing things and other ways of thinking. Suddenly, your whole mind can open up and you realise there’s a whole other world out there.

Negative core beliefs are the things that we think we know are bad. We usually pick up negative core beliefs through life experiences and our day-to-day environments. However how often are we challenging our negative core beliefs? To overcome my anxiety, I had to really dig deep and challenge my lifelong negative core beliefs about anxiety. I had to change my perspective and realize that I’m not an ‘anxious person‘, I simply was just experiencing high levels of anxiety. The difference is key.

Common Core Beliefs That Many Of Us Have;

Let’s put things into perspective – Here are some examples of core beliefs that many people think and feel in society today;

• Murder is wrong
• Love is good
• You should help people in need
• You shouldn’t lie
• You should brush your teeth
• You should be nice to people
• Giving it better than receiving
• Stealing is bad
• You need to go to school
• You should get a job
• Shouting at others is not nice

Examples Of Negative Core Beliefs;

These examples of core beliefs are the assumptions that we can make about ourselves that don’t really have any weight to them, but we can strongly believe them nonetheless.

•  I’m ugly
• I’m not as good as them
• I’ll never amount to anything
• People don’t like me
• I can’t do anything right
• I’ll never get better at this
• I’m not a confident person
• There’s no way I could do that
• I’m stuck
• I’m unlovable
• There’s something wrong with me
• I never get things right
• They’ll leave me in the end
• Everyone just uses me
• The world is evil
• People only like interesting people
• I’m just an anxious person
• I’m negative
• I’m different from everyone else
• I’m stupid

These negative core belief examples are typical things that we strongly believe about ourselves when we suffer from low self-esteem, lack of confidence, and mental health. It’s easy to see how these core beliefs about ourselves can lead to long-term depression and anxiety. The problem starts when we truly begin to think of ourselves as these very things. These are the negative core beliefs that I had when I was going through anxiety and depression, and it felt impossible to think any other way. I used to think that I would feel this way for the rest of my life and that only made me feel worse about myself.

On the flip side, many people who consider themselves ‘positive people‘ might have the following core beliefs. They are the people who challenge themselves to make things better and try and find the good in all situations.

Examples Of Positive Core Beliefs;

• Life is good
• I’m confident 
• People always like me
• I can do anything I want to do
• I’m good at a lot of things
• Good things happen when you make them happen
• Others will help me
• I can do this
• I believe in myself
• I can make tomorrow better
• Opportunities are all around me
• I can make something bad into a good thing
• I am not special or different
• My mind is capable of great things
• My hard work will pay off
• I can change if I want to
• I’m not limited to anything
• Learning is key
• Failure does not exist
• Everything is temporary

These examples of core beliefs might make you think about how you currently feel about your life. If you find that you have negative core beliefs about most aspects so of your life, it might be time to start challenging them. Cognitive behavioural therapy is based on challenging your core beliefs. The idea is to identify what your core beliefs are, and then make strides towards approaching them differently. Many of us go through our whole lives not really paying any attention to what our core beliefs are, mostly because we accept the way we naturally feel.

How To Change Your Core Beliefs

Challenging your core beliefs can be uncomfortable. The reason for this is that you have to be totally honest with yourself. Bringing your deep-set core beliefs up to the surface can bring a new sense of self-awareness which I believe we all need to do to start moving forward. If you can identify your beliefs, you can start to work towards challenging them. Often times to change your core beliefs you need something drastic to happen. People don’t often believe something until they see it for themselves or have a deep emotional connection to something.  For example, if you spend your life believing aliens aren’t real, and then you suddenly see one, would your core beliefs change? Of course, they would.

1. Bring Them Up To The Surface

This is obviously an extreme example, but usually, all we have to do to identify our core beliefs is to write down answers to simple questions. For example, if you suffer from anxiety, you might need to write down 5 answers for the following;

•  Anxiety is
• Anxiety is
• Anxiety is
• Anxiety is
• Anxiety is

By doing so, you allow yourself to dig deep and bring up your core beliefs around the subject. Your answers will be overall good or overall bad and the answers will give you an indicator of how you truly feel about the subject.

2. Asking Yourself Why You Might Have These Core Beliefs In The First Place

Once you’ve determined what your core beliefs are, It’s time to ask yourself why you have these core beliefs in the first place. I lived with a certain set of core beliefs because of varying factors. My school teachers passed their core beliefs down to me, my parents passed theirs down to me and I even picked up some of my core beliefs from my friends growing up. For example;

•  I should always listen to this type of music
• I should just go to college because everyone does
• I have to get a job
• I have to get a house
• I have to exercise every day
• I have to study every day
• I have to make an effort with people I don’t like

The examples of core beliefs above are all beliefs that others had, which I then inherited. If you ask me why I had such strong core beliefs around these things, I’d have a hard time telling you why I believed them too. The truth is, these common beliefs are all things that are deemed ‘normal‘. However just because they are ‘normal‘, it doesn’t mean that they are right for everyone.

For example, I never really liked school. I knew that I had to go which meant that I ended up pushing myself into subjects that I barely cared for. I then had a strong core belief that I should go to college after school. If I’m honest, I wanted to leave education and get a job but my core beliefs stopped me from doing that. I felt as if I had to go to college, get more grades, and then get a job. My belief about this system was from what I’d seen others do, and what the culture accepted.

So, where do your core beliefs come from?

3. Change Your Core Beliefs – Stop Ignoring Yourself

Are you the type of person that walks around with your head down, whilst just trying to get through the day quietly? If that’s you then it’s time to stand up straight and look in the mirror. Our core beliefs about life and ourselves are usually so deep-set that we ignore ourselves and re-evaluate what we really believe in. Try and look in the mirror and tell yourself that you’re getting better one day at a time. Whatever your core beliefs are, they lie in your subconscious mind from all of your experiences and other people in your life. We end up getting in our own little ‘lanes’ of thinking and rarely try and bring things up to the surface.

In the early 1900s, a man named Emile Coue said that by saying positive affirmations to yourself in the mirror, you can start to reprogram your brain into a different reality. This is because your subconscious is like the base of your mind that lies covered by your active consciousness. The two don’t always match up and that’s why you might find it hard to change your core belief if you don’t practise subconsciously changing thought patterns regularly. The key is to be persistent until you pierce through and affect your mind at its very base.

When I was experiencing anxiety and depression for the first time, I felt myself only getting worse and worse. I was searching for an exit but could never find it. I realise now that I didn’t believe that I could get better, and so my efforts to re-energize my brain were in vain. Some people swear by positive affirmations. I never really understood how they could work so never really gave them a try. Now instead of looking into a mirror each day, I practise my affirmations in my head when it feels natural.

4. Try Something New

As we’ve already mentioned, our core beliefs come from what we’ve experienced, seen and heard. Trying something new can instantly shift your core beliefs. For example, for a long time, I wanted to start this blog but I didn’t think I could. I thought that websites were only for people with degrees in computing and web design. I had no clue how to start so I didn’t try. Finally, I had a real urge to give it a shot so I signed up for web hosting. I toyed around, put some pages together, and finally got the hang of how it all worked. Fast forward to today and I can say that I’ve built something that I’m proud of.

The point is, if I had never tried, I would have gone the rest of my life believing that someone like me couldn’t do it. Because I tried and didn’t give up, I managed to do it. This experience changed my life, and now I tell people how easy it is to make your own website and write your thoughts. Usually, they don’t believe me, but that’s okay because that is their current core belief.

The idea of never trying caused me too much discomfort and so it became a must to at least try and get my story out there. You could call this a breakthrough because it caused a massive shift in the way that I thought about everything.

Because this project seemed so difficult, I suddenly wondered what else I could achieve if I really gave it some effort.

Change Your Core Beliefs, Change Your Life

Our daily actions are dictated by our core beliefs. If we change what we believe, would we be more open? I think we would. The key is consistency and dedication to bringing mindful awareness to our core beliefs. I hope these examples of core beliefs have inspired you to think about what your core beliefs are, and how they are currently impacting your life.

Here’s to your success,

Sean