How do you stop worrying about the future when it seems so natural to do so? Maybe humans are so intelligent that we can’t help but create images of our futures, whether they’re completely ridiculous or not. I’ve had my good share of worrying about the future, often in times of massive uncertainty, job instability, and through relationship troubles. I’ve come to realise that worrying about the future is kind of like worrying about the weather. As in, no matter how much you worry about the future, you can’t control it. It’s the unknown. Maybe that’s what’s so scary about it at time. It’s the fact that we don’t know what is going to happen to us, and so we worry about the future because we don’t have a set plan to follow.

I’ve spent a lot of time worrying;

• when I was at school about what grades I would get at the end of the year
• about the next school I would go to and that I might not make any friends
• about what I might do after school
• about what kind of job i would get
• if i’d be able to properly support myself
• what kind of adult I would grow to be
• where I would go after a relationship had ended

The list goes on and on like a never ending string of self doubt… One thing has been for sure though – the trends just seems to always continue. No matter what stage you’re at in your life, you’re bound to worry about the future in some way, it’s just one of those humaly things that we all do from time to time. Even if you’re not ‘worrying about the future’ per sae, there’s no doubt that future events will often play on your mind.

In reality, worrying about the future is like a kind of self-torture. It’s like when you want to help someone who might be a thousand miles away, but you know it’s not physically possible. It’s frustrating, and it can cause you to go over and over your thoughts as time goes on, only making you feel more worried. So how do you stop worrying about the future, a future that might not exist, but only existing in your imagination?

 

1. Don’t Believe Everything You Tell Yourself

 

The future is kind of like a mysterious alien creature. You don’t know what it looks like, so you tell yourself your own story, so your mind can put things in their place. It’s amazing how the human mind can convince it’s owner of outcomes to events which haven’t even taken place yet. Put it down to a survival mechanism or not, we all tell ourselves stories every single day of the week. We narrate our lives like the TV presenter who tells us what’s on next. The problem is, we make assumptions about our futures, especially when we feel as if we’ve had a hard time in the past. We just feel as if the bad wil continue happening to us. The truth is, although we can influence the future, we can’t control it. something ‘bad’ or good is always around the corner, and like the saying goes – ‘worrying about it isn’t going to change it’.

If you’ve got a naturally creative mind, you’ll of noticed by now that it can also work against you. Anxiety and worry is the creative mind using it’s imagination in a counter-productive way, at least that’s how my mind operates. When I’m being creative, I feel great because I can make something out of nothing. The ‘problem’ is, this creativity never switches off, and so when I’m idle, it’s still working 24/7, but instead of being useful, it can start to make up stories that I find easy to believe.

Even though it seems hard not to believe everything you tell yourself, it’s important to remember that your imagination is there for a reason, it’s just sometimes not being very useful in times of quiet or idle.

 

2. You Literally Have No Idea What Will Happen

 

How do you stop worrying about the future? Well, think about it, you literally have no idea what will happen! Okay, so you might know the outcome of certain actions you might take, but you will never really know what might happen in the next year or so – that is, until time travel is invented! Until then, you can find peace by remembering that you, and no one else on the face of the earth knows what is going to happen in the next minute, hour, day, week or year. We’re all in this together, and no amount of worrying about it is going to help. (even though it feels like it will sometimes.)

Why do we worry so much about future and the unknown? I think it comes down to human nature. When we think that there is a threat ahead of us, we can find it important to mull it over, process the different outcomes, just so we can prepare ourselves. Whilst this can be useful, it also causes us a lot of grief that could be avoided if we just use this simple saying;

Whatever will be, will be.

Whilst this may seem like an overly laid back way to look at things, half of the battle is getting to a point where you can let go. For example, much of my worrying about the future has been down to the fact that I have no control over it. Because I’ve always liked to feel in control, there comes a time when you must realise that in life, there is much that is out of your control. And I don’t think that it’s necessarily mine or your fault to feel this way.

In a society based on black and white results, good and bad, we’re pushed from a young age to perform on a high level, make as few mistakes as possible, and act a certain way, even if it doesn’t feel natural to us. Nevertheless, we accept this, because it’s the norm. However, with this social and societal pressure,  we can grow up to feel as if we need to be in control of everything – especially our future.

Do any of these sound familiar to you?;

• you need to get good grades to pass X
• you need to go and meet new friends
• What are you going to do later without X results?
• where do you see yourself in 5 years?

The big questions in life are always about the future. But here’s the thing…

 

3. The Future’s Not A Real Thing

 

 

Okay hear me out…The future is painted as either this big exciting thing to look forward to, or something terrifying and scary. We picture it as this thing that is detached from our current existence, as if it’s way off and not relevant right now in this moment. The truth is, the future is right now, in every passing second. Sure you can say that “in two years I’ll be doing X“, but two years away is attached to right now, and the seconds are all linking to that moment two years away. Whilst you may look a little older or greyer in two years time, time is just a big interlinking chain.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve stopped and thought to myself “wow, so much time has passed, and I  still feel like the same person”

Here’s something key to take away – time is a creation of man.

If you think this sounds a little crazy, maybe it is. But think about this – the sun goes up and down, day time comes and night time follows. However, ‘seconds’ never existed before we decided to put a measure on time.  How do you define the future? A time when you’re old a grey? or the next second that passes?

“Life is a big chain linked by every passing second”

 

At least that how I see it, and that perspective is serving me well after a lifetime of worrying about the future.

4. The Only Thing You Can Control Is Now

 

With a mindset of “the future’s ages away“, it’s hard to stop worrying about the future. However understanding that you don’t have control releases some of the burden. And more importantly, the only thing you can control is right now. The actions you take and the what you spend your time thinking about. So although you can’t control the ‘future’, you can influence it right now. How do you get to the ‘future’? By doing what you’re doing right now.

Example;

If you study for an exam everyday, you’ll influence your exam in a good way when it’s time to take it. The revision you’ve put in will positively influence your results. However, if you don’t study at all, you’ll influence it in a negative way.

Another example;

If you spend your time worrying about the future, you’ll probably always worry about the future and you’ll likely feel no different as time goes on. If you release the burden of feeling like you need to control every aspect of your life, you can grow that mindset as time goes on, and going forward you’ll start to worry less about the future and that which you can’t control.

As a species, we’re so concerned about the future, but no-one really seems to care so much about the moment. For example, when was the last time you just sat in a quiet room and thought about how you truly are? Maybe the present moment is so fleeting that we just think it has no real value.

Example;

Have you ever sat at a meal with someone who was messaging someone on their phone, organising a future event?

Or someone who seems to pull their camera out at every special event, rather than soaking in the present experience?

The present moment gets devalued constantly, but really it’s all we have in our lives. Billions and billions of present moments that get cemented in time. I believe every second or moment has value in some way, whether it’s the moment you blow out your birthday candles, or you’re sat at your desk feeling stressed.

The moments all influence the next, like the current of a river that never stops. Some of those moments flow freely, and sometimes they might crash into the rocks, but they are always changing and bouncing between the two.

Worrying about the future is an ability almost exclusive to humans, with brains capable of telling stories that help us flow into pleasure or crash into pain. If you can find pleasure in the present moment, worrying about the future doesn’t seem so relevant.

5. Define What You Want In Your Life

 

Before we know it, every aspect of our lives become a worry. That is, if we spend enough time worrying about the future. To stop worrying so much about future events, you can narrow down what you really want from life, and most importantly – keep it simple.

If you’re someone who chases the finer things in life, a big house, flashy car, lost of money, expensive holidays, great. However it might be time to get your expectations in check. You can cause yourself so much avoidable stress by checking back in with reality. If you can’t afford these things right now, think about what you need to do to reach those finer things.

More importantly, you can try to reevaluate what you value the most in your life. For me, having my family around me, being healthy, having a stable job, and enjoying myself every once in a while is what I value in my own  life. I do not strive for expensive things, and instead strive for calmness and enjoyment in the little things.

Some people I know are so hard on themselves because they don’t have what they want right now. Instead they neglect what they need. They are so wrapped up in despair and worry about not having things, and what people think of them that they over complicate their priorities.

Define what you want and keep it simple.

What has helped you stop worrying about the future? Leave a comment below.

Here’s to your success,

Sean