Do you really care what other people think of you? How much time do you spend worrying about what others think about you and what you do? If you really give a damn, it could be your biggest source of anxiety and stress. Maybe you question what you do in life, incase someone else doesn’t like it. I can’t tell you why I don’t care about what others think of me, but I can tell you that I feel more empowered in that I don’t.

I’m not saying that you shouldn’t care what everyone thinks of you, after all, you wouldn’t do something that would upset your loved ones on purpose, but trying to please your so called ‘friends’ with your every action is ridiculous. How many times have you opened Facebook for example to see the same person posting the same update they post every couple of weeks? It goes something like this;

“That’s it! I’m not going to try with anyone anymore! All that matters is my family from now on!”

We know that this person will likely end up posting the same thing again in a couple of weeks. They can’t help themselves but care what others think of them. But why do people like this really give a damn about what others think of them? Why do some people spend their time trying to impress other people, or try and keep up an image that they’ve got loads of ‘great friends‘ who love them?

I always think that it’s important to have the opinions of those that have your best interests, but trying to keep everyone happy so they like you is just darn right fake behaviour, and bad for your mental wellbeing. I would go as far as saying this is schoolyard behaviour, and it has no place in adulthood. It’s emotionally immature, and caring what everyone thinks of you is counterproductive.

Caring what other people think of you is also what I call ‘unnecessary anxiety’. It’s the anxiety that can be easily avoided if we stop caring about what doesn’t matter. Caring so much about your ‘image’, and feeling a need to be ‘liked’ will ultimately leave you miserable in life. All I’ve ever done is tray and act friendly, if people like me, great. If they don’t, who cares?

Ways to stop caring what other people think;

1. Their Opinion Is Only That – An Opinion

 

If you want to stop caring about what other think of you, you need to understand first that their opinion of you is only that – an opinion. It does not mean that the rest of the world does not like you or think you’re a ‘great friend’.Part of being a human being is having opinions. People’s opinions of you are not fact, they are not a ‘real thing’ that needs to be worried over. Nobody enjoys being disliked, but to try and relentlessly change someones opinion of you is futile.

You can’t please everyone. For some reason, everyone sees themselves as a ‘problem solver’, if someone doesn’t like us, or like what we do, we tirelessly try and fix it. How many times has someone told you that someone said something about something you’ve said or done. It doesn’t feel nice right? Fuck them and their opinion. How does if affect your life right? The only way it effects your life is by you worrying about it. Again, an opinion is not a ‘real thing’, it is a perspective from someone who has a different life to yours.

 

2. Be True To Yourself

 

If you care about what other people think too much, chances are you’re not, or you’ve never been true to yourself. You value other people’s opinion waaaay too much. You base your every move on what other people will think. I mean why wouldn’t you? When something goes bad you don’t post it on Facebook, when something goes good, you post it over and over on Facebook to prove to fish for compliments. I learnt a long time ago that chasing external compliments is hazardous to your mental wellbeing. If you don’t start complimenting yourself, without the need for an opinion from someone else, I don’t think you can ever be truly content.

External compliments are nice, but they are only external. They don’t mean anything. It’s time to get some self-awareness. If you’re not being true to yourself and what makes you happy, then you can never rely on yourself to back yourself up. Posting something online for compliments and for a virtual ‘well-done’ is completely hollow. Even if you get your compliments, you’re soon left feeling empty again.

Being true to yourself means understanding why you care so much about what other people think, and then, doing what you want to do anyway.

 

3. Start Respecting Your Own Opinion

 

Who has real power over you? If you’re a child, your parents have a ton of power over you, that’s just a fact. They might not like you dating a particular person or seeing certain friends. That’s okay, that to me is justified. When you’re an adult, there is not one other person on the planet Earth that has more humanly power than your own opinion. Your opinion is the only one that matters when it comes down to your own life. You are the only one that can take action to do right or wrong, or whatever it is you want to do.

Currency and authority are man made. These are man made power tools that keep people in check. However, to me, they are not real. They are just ideas that were built into their physical form. it does not mean that they are what I call ‘real’. Things like this started as ideas in someone’s head. It’s the same as someone else’s opinion of you. It is not ‘real’.

You have to gain a certain amount of respect for your own opinion and actions. If you’re pondering about doing something because you’re worried what someone would say, carefully evaluate the situation, and if it makes sense to you to do it, then just do it. See what happens.

 

4. Surprise: No One Actually Cares!

 

As I’ve already said, other people opinion are not ‘real things’. More to the point, no one actually cares! For some reason, when something is happening to someone else, a human being becomes the ‘voice of all reason’. We like to give our opinion in all situations. Maybe we want people to think that we’re smart, or important, the point is we like pushing our ideas out there. Heck, I’m doing it right now talking about how I think you can stop caring what others think of you! So, whilst I write this to try and help you wake up to the fact you don’t have to live day-today caring what others think, this is just my opinion, and it doesn’t make my opinion a ‘real thing’. (But I like to think my opinion has some value 😉 )

So even though people jump to the chance to give their opinion on you and what you do, deep down, they couldn’t care less. Why? because they’re too busy worrying about what other people think of them too! Their opinion on you is forgotten tomorrow.

 

5. Just Get Started On Yourself

 

Some people spend their whole lives trying to keep up an image, just so people like them. Wouldn’t you rather live the life you want, being content within yourself? Trying to keep an image up is exhausting and pointless. You just need to get started on what you want out of life. If you want to be a DJ, just go and start doing something that will contribute to that! Forget what your friends think, just because they don’t want to DJ, doesn’t mean that you’re wrong. You might have to sleep on their couch until you get yourself up and running, but if that’s what you want to do just keep plugging away.

I pondered about starting this blog for years, simply because I was worried about other people’s opinions for the first time. One day I realised that if I didn’t start when I did, I never would. I thought to myself ‘why not?’ And so here we are now. The point is, if you don’t start doing what you want to do now, you probably never will. You’ll be to wrapped up with what other people think and one day, you’ll regret it.

 

6. Put Yourself Out There

 

The best way to stop caring what other people think is to just put yourself out there. Some of my opinions here might be controversial, but nevertheless, I don’t care, because again, they are just my opinion. I started writing about mental health because I wanted to empower others and to help them realise that they are not alone in the way they feel. If you’ve got something that you want to do, just put yourself out there. These days you can easily start a blog, a vlog, or a podcast. Once you get some good and  bad feedback (which you ultimately will) you can start to understand that it doesn’t matter what people think because they’ll always be some people who like what you do, and some others that don’t. Being hung-up on the bad feedback is pointless because it’s always balanced with the good.

 

7. Educate Yourself

 

One of the biggest reasons that you care what other people think of you is because you feel inadequate. The only way to counter that is to educate yourself. Maybe you’re overly conscious of yourself and what you have to offer others. Whilst it shouldn’t matter what you can offer them, educating yourself can help you gain more confidence. Take it upon yourself to learn new skill or two. This could be anything – web design, baking, crafting – the options are endless. By gaining a new set of skills you, can dramatically increase your self esteem and how you feel about yourself. An easy way to gain new skills is to turn to the internet. You can read books, watch videos, or listen to audiobooks.

If you’re not trying to start some kind of online profile, just start what you want to do. The happiest people I know are the ones that just go and and do what they want without needing the approval of others. They don’t post what they’re doing online, they just do it.