In my long lived experience with anxiety, I know there are a lot of ways to deal with anxiety. Quite naturally, not dealing with anxiety can make you become depressed and worse. So it’s important not to neglect how you’re feeling. I neglected how I was feeling for years, I never let anyone know what I was going through, but I know now that by simply being ‘open’ to dealing with your anxiety is the first step, no matter how scary it might seem. Let’s start the list off by going through the negative ways of dealing with anxiety to give you an idea of what I went through at first because it might help to give you a ‘roadmap’ to your own recovery.

So often when you’re going through chronic anxiety, it’s hard to know where to start. If this is you right now, this list is for you. So here goes;

 

1. Become Depressed

 

It’s all too easy. I’ve been there. When you feel anxious as hell every day, you can easily become depressed and go into yourself. You’re depressed because you don’t know how to get out of the rut you’ve gotten into and you can’t see a way out. I spent at least 5 years this way and I’m so glad that I reached out and decided to kick myself in the ass. It’s probably the hardest part of recovering because you’re in a certain mind frame that is not easily shaken. Your whole thought process is filtered through a negative lense which makes it hard to see things from a different perspective.

To give you an idea how I felt day to day in this mind frame, read this and then shoot back over to this post. I wrote it to allow others to see that they are not alone, and and hopefully help people feel a little less lonely in their struggle.

 

2. Carry On Like Nothing Is Wrong

 

The second way to deal with anxiety is to try and carry on as normal. It’s usually what most people do. This is common when you have responsibilities and you don’t want to be honest with yourself. You don’t want to be honest because you might be nervous about others knowing you’re suffering with a mental illness and you don’t want to seem like a burden. All I can say is, this was almost as bad as becoming depressed over my anxiety. Eventually, I broke and I couldn’t keep acting like I wasn’t falling apart inside.

Carrying on and not dealing with your anxiety is a daily struggle. You’re trying to keep yourself together and act normal but it’s always in the back of your head. I learnt that by trying to suppress my anxiety only made it worse. I kept pushing it down further and further, but I could never really enjoy myself, even when I was trying to have fun.

Positive Way To Deal With Anxiety

 

 

1. Take Action & Commit

 

The first positive way to deal with anxiety and reduce it is to take action yourself. I get it, you feel like shit, you don’t wanna do anything and you’re generally feeling like there’s no hope.

This isn’t easy, I’m not going to make it seem like it’s a breeze. If you’re anything like I was, you’re not only anxious but you’re also depressed, which makes it even harder to see a light at the end of the tunnel.

However, it is vital to try.

It’s vital because you’re the only one who can ultimately start to turn how you feel around. The moment I realised this, the sooner I was able to recover.

This post isn’t here to trigger you and make you spiral into a worry because you need to rely on yourself. I wrote it to give you an honest piece of advice from someone who’s been there and still practises techniques to keep my generalised anxiety at bay.

you have to start with what’s inside you. If I could reach through this screen and shake you, I would! You see, to get well again or to at least get to a place where I didn’t feel like total shit all the time, I knew I had to do something myself and not rely on others to help me.

Sure medication and therapy help, but ultimately, you can’t rely on external forces to seep in and change you from the inside out. I also realised that I didn’t want to take medication for the rest of my life. I used to forget to take it and that just made me more grumpy and ironically, anxious.

The first step you need to take is to make the decision to change and take action. If you feel like you’ll be this way for the rest of your life, use that for motivation to make a commitment to change for the better.

 

2. Becoming Self Aware

 

The second thing that I focused on when I decided to try and get my mind straight was to become self aware. I realised that I was letting my mind run away constantly. Being anxious 24/7 does that of course and it’s easy to develop tunnel vision.

You end up not being able to see things outside of your own anxious reality. I came to the conclusion that I had developed a very narrow way of thinking and couldn’t see the bigger picture. I was living day to day, anxious event to the next, and never stopping to really think about the current moment I was living in.

Having generalised anxiety is all consuming, and you get used to this way of living and thinking, and recovery and a different way of feeling becomes so unrealistic. I wanted to get some self awareness so badly, I just didn’t know where to begin. When I could break out of my frame of ‘narrow mind’, and become mindful of the bigger picture of my life, things started to change.

I wanted to feel alive in the moment again because I was constantly worrying about yesterday or tomorrow.

 

3. Mindfulness

 

Mindfulness matters. Although now highly popular, and maybe even a bit over talked about, the foundation of a mindful practise is essential (in my opinion) to recovering from any mental illness.

I don’t care if it’s main stream, I ain’t no hipster after all. I believe in the power of being mindful.

As I’ve talked about before on my blog, I was practising mindfulness before I realised what I was doing had a name. I’ve always liked my own space and my own quiet company. I’ve always tried to reflect on things as much as possible.

When I realised mindfulness was ‘a thing’ I wanted to learn more about it. It turns out there are a ton of mindfulness practises out there and you can start right now and begin a journey of calmness and self improvement.

I’ll give you the short version of what mindfulness is;

Allowing yourself to live in the present moment without judgment or criticism of your thoughts and emotions. A real way to separate yourself from your own negative views.

When you can remove yourself from the picture, and see things from an outside perspective, it’s easy to realise that your worries and your emotions don’t need to have negativity attached to them.

Mindfulness thinking has allowed me to not label my thoughts and put them in boxes. It has allowed me to understand that emotions, situations and thought come and go and that there’s no need to hang on to them.

The best part about mindfulness is it’s simplicity. It’s kind of funny really how simple it is to practise because it’s something you’d think would come naturally. Maybe living in the western world we get a bit wrapped up in stress. Whatever the reason we’re not being mindful enough, I believe it needs to be done more to become aware of our emotions.

How often are you checking in with yourself? How often do you just sit in a quiet room? I’d guess not very often if you’re like me. We need to stop sometimes and give ourselves space to breathe calmly.

You can check out my mindfulness worksheets here. I made them with the view of them being a calming experience that will help open up your mind.

 

4. Eat Soul Food

 

Soul food is the dish I’ve been swallowing down for the best part of 5 years now. I’ll admit, for too long I lost my way and ignored what I naturally craved and was desperate to do. That was artwork, in any sense of the form.

When I started drawing on my YouTube channel, I fell in love with it. Yes I enjoyed the technical side of it, but mainly because it fed my soul. I consider myself to be a creative person and I think anyone, whether they think they are creative or not, has to feed their soul with what it wants.

That’s usually what you’re passionate about.

This was one of the best ways to deal with anxiety for myself and I do think that it’s an important part of anyone’s recovery. If you have a hobby, don’t neglect it.

I neglected what I naturally craved to do because of life. I was too focused on the mundane everyday things that I forgot what I had always enjoyed. Yeah, I think that’s partly because of growing up but you gotta’ let your soul be fed from time to time.

Suppressing it and letting your soul go hungry for years is a sure fire way to become anxious as hell and depressed.

Give yourself permission.

If you don’t have a hobby or passion, start trying new things. There is something out there for you and you don’t even know that you’re hungry for it yet. You just have to try things.

I never realised I loved writing so much, but here I am today, blogging and sharing what I know with you. I do it because I’m passionate. I don’t need any return, I’m simply feeding my soul.

 

5. Talk To Someone / People

 

Be open to opening up. For example, it was my mum who I first open up to about my anxiety. I wasn’t dealing with it but knew that I had to share it with someone eventually. When I decided to take action on my anxiety, I had a long conversation with my mum about it. I talked about how I’d secretly felt for the last few years and it truly made me feel better. Not only was she understanding, it also allowed me to realise that anxiety disorders were very common which also made me feel less lonely in an instant.

If you’re not comfortable talking with  family member about your anxiety then their are other options you can try. If you’re in school, you can look to talk to a teacher. Alternatively you could book an appointment with your doctor who might refer you to a counselor. Counselors are specially trained in not only listening to your concerns about your anxiety, they also help you to manage and recover. If you’re in the UK, you might be able to get a counselor on the NHS for free however you might find you have to wait months to get a slot to see one. If you don’t have health care, you are likely going to end up paying $100-$250 per session with a counselor.

This is where online counseling can help. Betterhelp is a leading online therapy site where you can be linked up to a counselor for an affordable price. I have had a good experience with them in the past and their prices start from $35 a week for continued email/phone/video chat support. All of their therapists have masters degrees so you know you’re getting a good deal for you money. You can learn a bit more about them here.

 

6. Start That Journal

 

Have you started a journal yet? Journaling has played a big part in dealing with my anxiety. My journal consists of writing down notes and blogging on this very website. I can’t tell you how therapeutic it has been to write about anxiety and the impact it has had on me. For a long time, I put it off and didn’t want to take on starting this site. However, if there’s one thing journaling has taught me it’s I love writing. I also love writing down my thought whether others read them or not. Journaling for your anxiety is a great way to keep track of your anxiety. It kind of works like point number 5 on the list except you’re not talking to anyone but yourself when you journal. However, this can still have major benefits for you because you’re still allowing yourself to open up in another format.

A lot of other mental health bloggers talk about journaling for anxiety and how it has helped them. More importantly, studies have been undertaken which have shown that journaling can improve your mood and mental health. Because it’s a daily activity, journaling for you anxiety is an ongoing coping/maintenance strategy. It’s essentially an easy and free way to deal with anxiety in the comfort of your own home. You can read more about the studies and how journaling has helped me here.

There are many ways to deal with anxiety. These are just some of the ways I believe in and have worked for me, and I hope that they help you too.

 

7. Take No Notice Of Others

 

A lot of times, our anxiety comes from comparing ourselves to others. It’s easy enough to do in this day and age. With TV and social media, we’re constantly getting glimpses of other people’s lives. The problem with TV and social media is, it’s staged. Other people’s lives through these mediums are set up in a way to make themselves feel good with little thought to others. Have you ever wondered why people feel like they have to share every thought they have? or take a number of selfies that they then post online? Look, at the time of writing this I’m 28. I’m part of this generation, however, it doesn’t sit well with me,

I completely went off of Facebook and it changed my life. I broke the habit of opening my phone in the morning to look at Facebook. Your anxiety might be stemming from these unhealthy stimulants. I know that mine were because I was always comparing myself to others.. I used to see people going on holiday and thinking ‘that’s not fair, I haven’t been away in ages.’

The truth is, comparing yourself to others will only bring you misery. It’s sadly a pointless exercise that we all do everyday. We compare ourselves to others we want to be like, instead of simply being ourselves. Trying to live up to others expectations is exhausting, and it makes you more anxious. The key is to focus on yourself and switch off the gadgets from time to time. I don’t worry (and simply don’t care) what others are doing or what they might have that I don’t. Worrying about it is pointless and it gets you nowhere. Start to work on yourself instead. Read a book, go for a jog or perhaps start a website. Do anything that will get you moving yourself.

Read this to see how my first 30 Facebook detox went and the effect it had on my anxiety.

8. Start Moving Around

 

This doesn’t always mean exercising. Whilst exercise is great for your mental health, you just need to get up and move. Just do anything. Like I said above, read a book, go for a jog or even simply stretch. Start doing something that is going to get you to the next moment in your life. The ‘problem’ is, time doesn’t sit still, and if we stay still, we get left behind. Although change is scary sometimes to a lot of people, I believe that as human beings we have to get up and constantly evolve as time goes on because nothing stays exactly the same.

If you’re not growing, you’re dying.

With all the ways to deal with anxiety, simply getting up and moving is a core part of the puzzle. You have to move and keep going!

 

9. Change Your Core Beliefs

 

If you believe that you’re an ‘anxious person’, or you’ll never be anxiety-free ever again, what chance do you have to recover? You might have core beliefs that are holding you back. If this is how you feel now, then it’s time to start opening up your mind to other ways of thinking. My own personal core beliefs used to be that I couldn’t control my anxiety and that I’d be the way I was for the rest of my life.

It wasn’t until I started educating myself about the ways to deal with anxiety that I learnt a ton of valuable information. This information made sense to me and I tried the advice that I found. I started being mindful and learning about how anxiety works. When I eventually started to manage my anxiety, my core beliefs changed.

Another example: before I created this website, I used to think – ‘Only computer nerds can make websites’. Of course, when I finally read about how to make a website, I started to put what I had learnt into action. When I had set this website up, my core beliefs about making a website changed. I no longer thought that I couldn’t do it and even told others how easy it was to do.

The point is, to change your core beliefs, you need to try new things. If you think something is impossible, try it, and stick with it.

Here’s some examples of core beliefs that many of us have.

 

Thanks for reading, and if you have any interesting ways of dealing with anxiety, I’d love it if you shared them in the comments.

Here’s to your success – Sean