“What’s The Point of Doing Anything?” Asked My Son

Last Saturday morning I was sat on the sofa watching the news when my son entered the room and ask; “What’s the point of doing anything when you’re going to die anyway?“ I was surprised that he would even think of such a question being only seven years old. However, it made me think about what I had experienced just a couple of years before when I had an existential crisis.

“What’s the point of doing anything” was the point I had reached after I’d become depressed. I remembered that I’d had the same questions in my head at around his age and I realised perhaps all children have these kinds of philosophical questions from a young age. The reason I believe is because children see things in very black and white and see things for how they are. They aren’t old enough to have accumulated their own core beliefs yet and are still trying to get a good understanding of the world around them.

The fact that he had experienced three pets dying in the past year probably had something to do with him asking this question too…

After having this question deeply in my mind for many months a couple of years before, I realised that even though I’d written extensively about the subject myself, I’d never answered that question to anyone aloud, let alone try and word it in a way that would make sense to my son or any child for that matter.

Having that question asked by a seven year old prompted me to write this post. Since my existential crisis, I have learnt a few things along the way and I’d like to tackle this question head on and share my answer with him in more depth.

What’s the point of doing anything when you’re going to die anyway?

This question is one that most people would have asked themselves at some point in their lives if not several as they’ve grown up. It’s fair to say that when we experience rough times, this question comes up more and more but usually only in our heads. Talking about this question aloud is kind of taboo. If you asked this question aloud then people often start to worry about you, with good reason.

However I think this question is something that you have to face at some point in your life, whether you’re a painfully positive person by nature or ‘Debbie downer’ type. The reason is because to have a life you must first have a personal philosophy for life. In a world that doesn’t make much sense you have to give it a sense of meaning through your own personal morals and rules. Usually we get shaped by the world and naturally build our own philosophies over years.

When my son asked me “what’s the point of doing anything?” my response was this;

“The point is to do things that you enjoy because not many people get to.”

Again, this was not my son being depressed in anyway, this was the curiosity of a young child who believes his parents have all the answers to all the difficult questions in the universe!

My response to his question was short and sharp and in a very positive tone so to make him feel comforted even though really, if I was talking to an adult, my answer would have been more along of the lines of;

“(I believe), there is no great point in doing anything so you may as well find things that do give you a sense of enjoyment and purpose. Not many potential people have the chance to be born so you owe it to yourself to feel fulfilled.”

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Call it a grand realisation or enlightenment but when I was in a hole I received a great sense clarity where I realised that, not in a nihilistic way, there is no higher purpose to being anywhere or doing anything. The reason we fell as if there should be is because everything in life has some kind of framework to work around and towards. However, life itself, does not.

Now you might disagree with me if you’re religiously inclined and that’s okay. To me, religion makes sense because it removes the empty worry that you’re actually doing things for no real reason in the long run and instead gives you purpose that your existence has great meaning now and after you’re not here anymore. That is comforting.

My existential depression was like a ‘factory reset’ for my mind and I saw things as clearly and innocently as a child again, without existing beliefs or ego. It became obvious to me that no one really knew what the point of doing anything was and we all have our own philosophies as to why we do things in the first place. This was not a depressing thought but a very uplifting and exciting one.

Just do what draws you in if it makes you feel good

There’s a reason why some things draw us in, there usually the things we’re good at or enjoy. I talked a number of times about overcoming a tough time with anxiety through creative projects. The reason why I love to do creative projects is because they give me a sense of purpose and something to constantly work towards. It’s one of the reasons why I started this blog in the first place, because I knew it was an ongoing project doing something that I love to do.

In my experience, if you can’t find a purpose in your life then you need to give yourself one, starting by leaning into the things that make you feel good on the inside. It’s why highly paid people in executive jobs can still be miserable, even with all the money in the world. The’re neglecting what really makes then feel good and alive on the inside and that can be crippling and lead to depression in my view.

When you live a life where you allow yourself to still do the things that give you a sense of purpose then you end up feeling more fulfilled and you start to ask the question “what’s the point of doing anything?” less and less.

Accepting there doesn’t have to be a ‘higher meaning’

I accepted that there didn’t need to be a higher meaning to my existence and decided to focus more on what I was spending my time doing rather than the future. What moves the world around is what happens now, not tomorrow. The idea that there is no higher meaning was incredibly freeing for me. Every movie has a conclusive ending but not real life. Real life is chaos and suffering and confusion. Real life can seem mundane when we get into routines and that’s when we start to ask the question “what’s the point of doing anything?” It seems as if your stuck in a cycle of repetition. But when you can accept mundane nature of a modern lifestyle you then start to look at what you could do to make it a little less mundane.

The whole time you do exist you might as well make it the best you can otherwise you run the risk of spiralling into existential angst. Doing things, especially new things helps to widen your perspective. Learning things and constantly moving in a forward direction is the only thing we can do to give ourselves some kind of meaning. If there is going to be no grand finale to wrap up our existence then we might as well do things that make us feel alive.

Something else that came out of my existential crisis that has also shaped my personal philosophy was the question of why I was even existing in the first place. The conclusion I came to was that I never asked to exist and simply the only reason I do is that my parents wanted to have children. I was never consulted before life and yet everything in life is a choice. Many millions of potential people could have been born and yet it was me that made it through the other side. If someone else was born, would my parents have loved them just as much? Of course, they would have. The art of making a baby is a lot like rolling a dice.

With that thought in mind I began to think about the fact that anyone could have come through into existence, there are many other faces that could have been born and grown but it was me. Was there a reason it was me? I don’t think so.

Asking, “what’s the point of doing anything?” is a lot like asking the question; “how long is a piece of string?”.