I’m writing this post about the truth about anxiety because I feel as if it’s completely relevant to what’s happening in the world right now. However, it’s also something that has been on my mind for some time. If you’ve read my anxiety story, you’ll know that I’ve grown up being an incredibly anxious person that spent much of my time trying to aggressively end my anxiety.
Since March 2020, the coronavirus had been plaguing the planet and causing all kinds of chaos. People are losing their jobs and worst still, people are getting really ill and dying from Covid 19. Now, in August 2020, the world feel like a completely different place to how it was six months ago.
Truth be told, I can barely remember a life where we didn’t have to wear a mask into a store. It’s safe to say that the current situation we find ourselves in is causing much uncertainty and if there’s one thing I know about anxiety, it’s often the fear of the unknown. So, you could say a lot of the anxiety in the world is justified right now.
However, there’s never been a more important time to talk about the truth about anxiety and the one thing you need to remember;
Anxiety isn’t going anywhere.
Unfortunately, the truth about anxiety is, anxiety isn’t going anywhere and like the Coronavirus, we have to learn to coexist with it. It can be a scary thought to know that you might be anxious for the rest of your life but on the flip side, this realisation is also incredibly freeing.
Let me explain.
As human beings we’re programmed to avoid pain and discomfort. In terms of anxiety, and when we are really worried for extended periods of time, the logical first step is to go an grab some SSRI’s. Another option many people choose is to stay indoors and hide away from the world. And it’s understand why people jump to these things.
Anxiety can be really scary, especially when you’re worried for no reason at all. But it’s not just the sensation of anxiety, it can also be scary because you can find yourself feeling like you’re losing your mind, as if everything is suddenly out of your control.
I myself went straight onto medication, as if I was totally broken and couldn’t move on without chemical intervention. I don’t mean to totally demonize medication because I know that it can be a good starting point from people.
However, to accept anxiety as something that will be with you from time to time is a better starting point, I believe. By doing so, you give yourself permission to move forward, on your own terms, stripping anxiety of its uncertainty.
When my medication didn’t feel like it was working how I wanted it to, I came to the realisation that I’d have to, at some point, try to live with anxiety. I saw no good coming from staying on medication. You can read about my full story of how I came off medication here if you’re interested.
Accepting the truth about anxiety is hard
Realising that anxiety is something we can’t avoid in life is a difficult thing to accept. Not just when you’re starting out but at any age. I’ve seen so many people fall under the grasp of anxiety and hide themselves away, feeling as if they’re not good enough.
It is obviously sad to watch and the very nature of extreme anxiety only compounds over time making you feel worse and worse until eventually you don’t want to go out and do anything.
When I knew that my anxiety wasn’t going anywhere, and all I was doing was covering it up with medication, I stripped back my pills and decided to face the world on my own terms. It wasn’t easy. As a nineteen year old that had been altering my brain chemistry for two years, I had to adjust back to myself.
So how do you accept that anxiety isn’t going anywhere?
From my experience there are several ways that you can come to this realisation yourself and learn to move forward on your own terms.
The first way is to imagine a life without anxiety. It just isn’t possible. At some point you’re going to be anxious and have difficulties worrying. There are too many things that happen in the world for you to never be anxiety-free, and that’s okay.
Another way to be comfortable with the truth about anxiety is to make yourself ‘bigger than the world’. By this I mean believe in yourself a bit more. No matter how anxious and reclusive you find yourself, you’re always capable of so many things.
The next way is to understand that you’re not the only one experiencing anxiety. Anxiety can make you feel isolated, as if you’re uniquely becoming more and more different to other people. In reality, you feel no different to anyone else. Certain people don’t talk about difficult emotions but you can be sure they experience them just the same as you from time to time.
For many years, and as a young child, I believed that I was experiencing something unique to me, as if a bit freakish. It wasn’t until I was in my late teens and had a bit of life experience under my belt that I saw many other people falling to their anxiety that had previously seemed ‘okay’.
We are all in this together.
Arriving at the truth about anxiety is not something you will do when you feel like it. Instead, it is a journey of self discovery and learning about the world. You have to learn to feel okay feeling uncomfortable, instead of imploding and going into yourself.
It took me many, many years to reach clarity over the anxiety I had always experienced. From a young child to my early twenties to be exact. Everyone’s journey is going to be different.
However, as soon as you commit to being bigger, and capable in the face of the world, you can come to this realisation yourself and find some of your own clarity. I honestly don’t believe that you have to spend your life anxious and in a hole of fear because anyone is capable of nearly anything if you just give yourself a little credit.
I’m not the biggest fan of the ‘ego’ but it seems to me that it is something those who experience anxiety need to find. Pretending to be confident in the face of anxiety has propelled me forward in many different ways. After being uncomfortable initially, you can find some real confidence.
The truth about anxiety is a bitter pill to swallow but you don’t have to be its victim if you so choose not to.