It’s that time again where the new year is just around the corner. It’s a time where we think about our lives, what went well this year and what we want to go well next year. For me, it’s also a time that reminds me that the years continue to roll on and time keeps moving.
Sometimes we get stuck in a rut but somehow the turning of a new year can give us a sense of having a fresh start. I’ve been thinking a lot about what went well last year and what I want next year to look like. I’ve come to realise that it’s what I do and not just say that makes the biggest difference.
Furthermore, it’s what I choose to do consistently that seems to count. So that got me onto thinking about habits and what it truly means to keep a habit going and what it takes to start a new habit. And not just any habits, habits that actually make your life better and you healthier.
I’m as guilty as anyone when it comes to starting new years resolutions and then failing miserably at keeping the new habit up. Looking back, I think there’s a big and obvious reason why so many people fail at keeping their new year’s resolutions. It seems to be because they’re forced.
It’s traditional in many countries to set yourself a new years resolution but the very nature of setting a starting point could set you up for failure, to begin with. When I look back at any habit that I have eventually stuck with, I’ve stuck with them because I want to do them, I enjoy them and I never really gave myself any other choice.
Let’s face it if you really wanted to do something like start going to the gym or stop doing something like smoking you’d do or stop it now. Whatever habit you’re starting or stopping would seem so important that you’d not give yourself a choice but to begin.
For example, so often we tell ourselves to start exercising and typically we tell other people we’ll start doing it in the new year. After all, it’s a clean slate and we can measure our success from January onwards.
However, by putting it off there could be a sense of dread and if you’re going to stick to anything then you need a sense of enjoyment whilst you do it. If not enjoyment then you need an end product in mind. The thought of the result needs to be compelling enough to pull you through the process.
For example, if you’re overweight and you want to lose enough fat so your breathing improves, the thought of being able to walk up a set of stairs without getting out of breath should be so compelling that you don’t care what pain you have to go through to get to that point.
Whilst some might say that starting a new habit comes down to willpower, I believe that ‘willpower’ is a word that is far too overused.
Here’s the dictionary definition of willpower;
Control exerted to do something or restrain impulses.
So, simply put, if you have willpower then you have the ability to delay short-term gains for long-term results.
However, I’ve never been a fan of willpower. Willpower implies that you’re fragile and can be strayed away from your long-term goals easily. If you need the willpower to do something then you probably don’t even want to be doing that thing in the first place.
I believe you’re strong. I think we’re all capable of sticking at things only if we truly want them. Willpower implies to me that you’re always on the edge of failing, desperately trying to stay on the straight and narrow.
And that’s why I always go back to the why. If your ‘why’ isn’t strong enough then starting a new habit is going to be difficult. Not getting the desired result has to be a more painful thought than putting yourself through trying to get the desired result.
Any habit that I’ve stuck at has been a result of wanting to avoid the pain of the result of not doing that thing.
How To Start A New Habit In 2020
1. Be at least somewhat interested in it in the first place!
Whilst you need a strong ‘why’, The first thing you’re going to need is a basic interest in the thing that you want to start doing regularly. If you want to start a habit of reading about quantum physics so you can impress other people, you’re probably starting the habit for the wrong reason.
Chances are if you aren’t interested in quantum physics you’ll likely give up reading about it pretty soon.
If you want to start a habit of eating healthier foods you’re going to need an interest in healthy foods otherwise all you’re going to see is a plate of food that you don’t think will taste nice. For example, we all know we should eat healthy foods but we often don’t spend a lot of time learning about why we should eat them, at least from a scientific standpoint.
Once we learn about the fascinating relationship with food and how it affects our bodies, we can make better food decisions going forward and it can begin seeming more interesting and exciting to eat healthy foods. Learning all the ins and outs about a subject can help to fuel our interest in it.
When I first starting blogging I didn’t have a clue what I was doing. As I continued to write and write and learn more about the benefits of consistent writing I began to enjoy the process a lot more as I understood what it could do for me and my mental wellbeing in the long run.
2. Having that strong enough ‘why’
As previously mentioned, your ‘why’ has to be strong enough to pull you through. A lot of the time I don’t feel like writing unless I feel inspired to do so. However, I know that I need to write consistently to get the benefits from it. If I don’t do any writing I know that my thoughts start to bog me down if I don’t release them through my fingertips.
The result of not acting out your habit has to seem more painful to you than not doing it. There are so many things that we put off doing every day and we end up eventually convincing ourselves that we’ll do them ‘one day’, just not today.
However, what if ‘one day’ never comes? What if today is as good a day as any? That is the attitude I’m trying to adopt. Instead of putting things off, I’m trying to see ‘today’ as good enough.
If I never started blogging and writing consistently, I’d have just kept telling myself that I’d do it ‘one day’. I’d have kept making excuses and convincing myself that I was just too busy. Starting a new habit is a choice, not willpower-based. It’s very black and white when you boil it down. And not doing that new thing has to be more painful than putting yourself through the process.
Have you tried to start a new habit recently? Let me know what’s worked for you in the comments.