How To Stop Worrying So Much And Take Back Control Today
If you’ve read my story then you’ll know how badly I used to suffer with anxiety and worrying. Let’s just say that it was bad! These days I don’t worry as much and I don’t even make as much of an effort as I used to not to worry. After I was crippled with anxiety and worrying, I decided to take control and start living.
I developed my own way of thinking, I was not going to spend my life worrying and I know for sure that you don’t have to either, seriously, you don’t…
This new way of thinking I taught myself draws a lot on a ‘give-less-fucks’ kind of attitude. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still down to earth and caring, but I only focus my energy on caring about things that matter to me and that benefit my life in some way.
The first thing to ask yourself is: ‘why do I worry so much?’ If you are like I used to be, you probably worry about things a ll day everyday. They’re probably silly little things that you worry about but you may have a deep mind that thinks into things too much, just like me as well.
I’d like to give you a bit more background about me if you’re new to Projectenergise.com because I think by connecting more with me, you’ll get more value out of this because you’ll know I’m a real person, I’m no doctor, I’m just an everyday person that has over-come my thoughts without medication and professional therapy.
You may be thinking ‘you’re anxiety and worries can’t of been that bad then’.
Well, I’ll just say that at it’s peak, I genuinely felt like I was going insane. As you may know, losing control of your mind is one of the scariest experiences you’ll ever have…
So how do you stop worrying so much, and how did I achieve it? It’s quite simple, accept the way your brain works and then you can start to re-build it.
I found the best way to stop worrying so much is to first accept it. Like I said, I’ve worried about dumb things my whole life and I’ve always imagined as I got older I’d stop. I thought I was just an anxious kid who would grow out of it.
Instead what happened was, I continued to worry about things and as I got older my constant worries turned from worrying about going to school to how will I get a job? So you could say they were worries about more important adult things which might of amplified them.
Here’s a quick list of some silly things I’ve worried about EXTENSIVELY over the years that I now don’t give any time to;
- The colour of my hair
- My parents dying
- If my girlfriend still wants to be with me
- what people are saying when I’m not present
- being in large groups
- worrying about worrying
- if people like me
- the size of my ears
- whether I have a life threatening illness
Some of those might be quite funny to you, but for me at the time, they were a big deal and made me hugely anxious and uneased.
What have I learned to think – Some giving so many fucks to these things. I won’t even apologise for swearing here.
I used to think about all the bad things that could happen from these situations, but I soon realised, what’s the worst outcome? Sure some outcomes of these things would be really bad however how likely would it be for any of these things to happen or if anything bad would come of others?
How To Stop Worrying So Much 101
1. What’s the worst that could happen?
So what’s the worst that could happen? After a lifetime of worrying and coming to a realisation that this was how my mind was wired, I knew I had to start approaching things differently.
You have to think about what the worst that could happen about the things you are worrying about. Will you die? Will someone else die? If the answer is no to these questions then it’s likely you’re worrying about something for no reason, or too much.
Let’s look at an example from myself using the above list of dumb worries I’ve had. I was worried about being in large groups. I was socially anxious, a bit paranoid and of cause anxious. I was worried about not fitting in, not being accepted and sticking out. What was the worst that could happen from this situation?
To be honest, when I really thought about it, there wasn’t anything bad that could really happen. If I didn’t get on with someone from a group, I could just leave or I could ignore them. Can you see how there’s no real danger here?
I think understanding why we worry about things from a biological view is important to start to get past our stupid worries. When we’re faced with real danger, let’s say a gunman who walks into a shop we’re in, we start to worry.
Obviously we’re worried because we think we might come under physical harm. It’s our brains natural response which tells you that there is danger and you need to take action to avert it. This causes stress hormones to pump around your body which only diffuses after the danger has been avoided.
This is why I believe it’s so important to learn how to stop worrying so much. When you’re constantly worrying, you have this ‘danger stress’ looming over you and it’s because of on-threatening situational worries.
2. Don’t Sweat What You Can’t Change
Another powerful way I learned to stop worrying was to let things go that I can’t change. All of these tips I’m giving you will help you to stop worrying all the time but together they’ll be even more powerful. So, how do you let things go? After all it’s so easy to worry about things and it’s hard to let them go.
It comes back to thinking what’s the worst that could happen? Example;
My best friend at school was moving to another country, I didn’t have or want many other friends and so I worried I wouldn’t make any more after he’d left and I didn’t really want to have to build up another relationship with someone because of course, I was anxious and shy.
How I dealt with it;
I let it go by thinking – the worst that could happen is I meet new people and hang out with them instead. Not so bad right? I didn’t really have a choice and so I was forced to face it. I’m sure you’re faced with things that you don’t want to do everyday, everyone is, and every time you face something that scares you and makes you anxious – it builds your character.
That’s how trying to overcome anxieties and worrying is actually something that’s good and I really believe it benefits you. If you’ve been through the worries and get out the other side, it makes you stronger and you grow stronger.
This is the case with me. When I grew up as a nervous and anxious wreck, moving past it was hard and sometimes still is, however, it built my character and made me more adapt to deal with the worrying that I might face.
At the end of the day, you have no control over what you can’t change. These emotions you may feel over something you can’t change are natural, but they’re not natural when you continue to worry about it for days and weeks.
Let’s say that you’re worried about a grandparent dying. This is quite an extreme example, however, we know that they are going to eventually like the rest of us. Because they might be older, it might be sooner for them. So instead of worrying about them passing away, accepting it and enjoying the time you have with them lifts a huge amount of stress of off you.
Accepting these things can only be achieved in time so I’m not saying you have to accept it and get over it straight away but instead learn to accept things through experience. Heck, I went 25 years before I really started to learn to accept things I couldn’t change and when I did that, I had a better sense of clarity and it helped me to not sweat these things and instead focus my energy on things that I can change.
When you learn the tips of how to stop worrying so much, you begin to open up your mind to not living right in the present but seeing the bigger picture of your life.
How To Stop Worrying So Much – 3. You’re Going To Die!
This is a statement that might be a little cliche, however as I’ve got older and realised that I’m not an invincible kid, it’s made me see things differently.
The funny thing I found with being a kid is, I always thought that the people around me and people I knew of would be around forever. This is because they had always been around of course and because it’s all I was used to. As I got older (mainly once I reached my mid 20’s) I started hearing of pop stars like Michael Jackson and Tina Turner dying.
Obviously – they were going to one day but they always seemed like people that would be around forever. Although I had no direct communication with them or love for them, this really got me thinking. If high profile people like them are dying before their old age, what chance do the rest of us have?
This idea that everyone dies one day is not something you usually think of when you’re a child. Now, I give it more thought. However, not in a worrying way. Instead I use this thought as motivation to do something with my life or make an impact on someonelses. By doing this, I know i’ll of done something worthwhile.
The idea of ‘everyone dies one day’ hits home even further when you hear of people dying before they even reach old age. For example, you may get hit by a car one day. You literally step out in the road and that is it…poof. I’m not writing this to depress you, I’m writing it so it’ll hopefully wake you up and make you realise life is shorter than you first thought when you were a child.
So…do you want to live what life you have left worrying? I know I sure as hell don’t. I’m quite a deep person and when I get an idea in my head I find it hard to shake. I’m guessing you probably are too because you’re reading about how to stop worrying so much. So when you get the thought of ‘everyone dies one day and it could be soon’, I’m hoping that it will make something inside of you turn on.
I don’t want to spend the next how ever long I had left worry about ‘what if’ because one day I’m going to look back and regret worrying so much. One day, I won’t have much time left and I’ll wish I didn’t let my thoughts hold me back. Because I’ve dealt with my anxiety, I’m no longer stuck in the moment like many of us find ourselves. I now look to the future and how I want it to look. I’m taking steps today so that they will pay off later on and I think this is the way we can all stop worrying so much.
If you focus on what you want from your life and push yourself to do it, even if you make mistakes along the way, you’ll make progress and that progress builds your character and makes you stronger.
So, just remember – we’re all going to die, we can’t change the impossible and what’s the worst that could happen?
If you’re struggling with worrying so much, I’d love to hear your thoughts on why in the comments.
Here’s to your ultimate success – Sean